The lack of care for the elderly family members and the obsession with using care homes commonly seen today used to be a trend attributed to the western culture. This is not the case any more because unfortunately we can now also see the signs of this trend crossing the Maldivian culture. Today we do not have to look too hard to find elderly Muslim parents who are being neglected by their children and left to contend with the hardship of everyday lives by themselves. This neglect of duty and care towards elderly parents is now apparent in Muslim house holds with little importance being given to such vulnerable members of the family. Why are we seeing this negative change?

The answer is the deviation of Muslims from the teachings of Islam. Some Muslims look at the issues of looking after their parents as a burden and a strain, rather than an obligation and a path to attaining Allah (swt) blessings. Such Muslims take this responsibility very lightly, they do not think twice about leaving the family home with elderly parents for work reasons or simply to ‘keep the peace’ with their wives. To be kind and dutiful to one’s parents has been mentioned in numerous verses of the Qur’an.

“And your lord has decreed that you worship none but him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attained old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say; ‘My lord! Bestow on them your mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.” [Qur’an 17:23-24]

Islam therefore dose not recognize the necessity for old people’s homes, as the responsibility for the parent’s welfare lies squarely on their offspring. As the verse above says not only should we care and look after our parents, we must also make supplications (dua’) for them, remembering that when we were helpless children they preferred us to themselves. The honorable status of parents in Islam cannot be understated: The Prophet (saw) taught us ‘Paradise lies at the feet of the mother.’ [Hadith]

Failure to give our parents their rights is an act of oppression worthy of receiving the wrath of Allah (swt). There are many other evidences from the Qur’an and the Hadith that safeguard the rights of our parents. Although the right of parents is an extensive topic in itself, we can summarize that as we should give what ever we can give to our parents.

We must never forget that old age will come to all of us one day (god willing) and we too will require the same care and attention as our parents do today. Undoubtedly things get increasingly difficult conditions like dementia creep in over and the behavior of the elders change considerably. We must however, never express irritation towards these difficulties but learn to practice patience.

In Islam, serving our parents is a duty we must all do, even if it means making some personal sacrifices, and our parents have every right to expect this.